H-Babe in his crib.

Haidan sleeps in his crib. Don't ask me how I managed to do it but it's done. I miss him dearly, his warm and soft little body beside mine. Now I'm stuck, alone, with a big warm soft body instead :)
I have the best mother in the whole wide world who, if it weren't for her help and strength, trained both H-babe and I to sleep in our own bed and room. Now that we finally have a room for him to sleep in, it only made sense that it was time to start him being a big boy in his own room. It was hard, and I think it probably contributed to a lot of the tears that were happening before we moved last weekend, but I am totally thankful that it's happened. I haven't slept 6 hrs, even 8 hrs straight in 11 months (or more if you count the end of pregnancy when you get up to pee every hour or can't get comfortable, or some little baby is kicking you in the ribs), let me tell you, it feels SUPER weird. I almost feel like I'm over sleeping. You know when you sleep like 10 hours and are like "Well I really didn't need that much sleep and now I'm yawning all day long" yeah, that's where I'm at. My body is slowly getting used to it though (it probably doesn't help that I have a video monitor so when I roll over in bed I can check out the babe sleeping like a champ) and I know in a few months I'll love it! I feel refreshed and have more energy (without sugar's help) that's for sure!
So let me share how this all went down:

• On Saturday when we moved my mom stayed over night and showed me the ropes. We did bath, book (facing out, not against her/my chest) sang some book songs quietly, and bed. Of course he cried because he wasn't happy about being alone in an echoing bedroom, so we checked on him after 2 minutes.
• As he stood at the railing we gave him a little hug, Shh-ed in his ear and said "Shh Shh, sleepy sleepy" and layed him down to rest. Of course he stood right back up as we were walking out and started to cry again. (This is where for the first two days I would burst into tears because I am a huge wimp now that I'm a mom. I'd start the stop watch on my phone and wait ever so anxiously for it to hit the 4 minute mark.) If he cried consistently for 4 minutes we went back in and did the same thing.
• Night number one he woke up probably 4 times that we actually went after 5 minutes of consistent crying in to give him a hug and calm him down. This eventually got to be less and less and now he sleeps on his own through the night.
• Day two: I am completely exhausted because I couldn't sleep knowing he was upset in his bed alone and scared and thinking I wasn't going to come back... (ok, I'm exaggerating and he was totally fine) he was tired and moody, but that was to be expected because we were in a new place and he didn't get much sleep. By the night time it took about 30 minutes to fall asleep (we checked on him 3 times) (we started using the noise maker on the rain setting and the video monitor)
• Day three: I'm moody and still very tired. It takes 10 minutes for him to fall asleep. But he's sitting up and when he nods off to sleep he bonks his head. My mom sneeks in and moves him, he's asleep for the night. ("They" say it takes 3 days to break a bad habit. Consider this habit broken. Minus the sleeping sitting upright)
• Day four: I do the whole routine 100% by myself and sleep in my own bed (I was sharing the bed with my mom like a baby, because it is right next to babe's room). He sleeps through the night with only 10 minutes of on and off crying.

Let me say, I 100% do not feel comfortable with the cry it out method. When my mom was doing the routine the first two nights I was pissed off and upset and was like " OK cool so now my happy baby is going to be traumatized and upset and hate me forever and be scared of the dark. GREAT!" But now I understand that he just wasn't happy 1)not being attached to my boob. 2)not sleeping right beside me (and being warm between W and I) 3)being in an echoing room (we're working on fixing that) 4) putting himself to sleep lying down 5)not being on the boob... oh wait.

So maybe when he's older I will have to deal with him being scared of the dark, or being scared to be without me, or something like all the horrible things I'm imagining... but no one knows what will actually happen until that time comes. 

My mom. I cannot thank her enough, give her a big enough gift, repay her enough, say how grateful i am... She did remind me though, that I am HER baby, and when I cry she feels the heart strings tugging just like I do when H-babe cries. So I guess this means that when H and his future wife have a baby that won't sleep alone... I get to help!! (And help I will!) She is the best, I am so thankful that she is my mom, and I hope that I can live to fill her shoes!

The HylariBerry Move 2013

Well we've gone and done it. Moved into a much bigger house, with 3 bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms. Basement, real kitchen, living room, a real adult house. 
Moving is for SURE not the same as it used to be now that H is here. I used to move into a new place, clean it, then start unpacking and painting and before the weekend was over it would feel like home. This time it's a little different, and a little harder. For starters our stuff was thrown into garbage bags. Then we couldn't really unpack because there was still some of W's mom's things there (we switched homes with her, what a great gift!!). Then there was the whole baby thing, he was so excited to be in a big space to crawl and walk around in I was running around him picking up all the un-safe and breakable things in his path.
Already we've painted a LOT. (by we I mean W. I haven't touched a paint brush... but I'm doing the baby thing so that counts for something right? YEAH) I unpacked our clothes into the new huge closet. HUGE. And H's room is set up, but not decorated in very much because I don't have the furniture pieces we need yet. And now W is doing the kitchen. I mean this man, I'm SO lucky to have him, he primed and painted the whole basement in one night. Then primed and painted the front hall way and stair way in one day. Now he's priming, painting the cupboards and putting a butcher block wood instead of the current counter top. HOLY BATMAN! All that is left so far is the spare bedroom paint and our bedroom paint (we have to pick out the colours still... no rush really).

 Green basement aka daycare room. Can't WAIT to decorate it!

Top left: H's sweet yellow room, spare bedroom that needs paint.
Bottom left: our huge (packed still) closet that we have SO much space in, and our bedroom. It's a weird shape so I couldn't get the whole room in, but it's huge and sweet and we might put a chair in here. And paint...

(P.S I didn't mention that decorating is another love/hate relationship for me. I have really great ideas but actually finding the pieces or knowing what to do with them when I find them is TOTALLY different. I wish my pinterest boards would just come to life in my house. Ahck)

I can't wait to share more before and after photos. I seriously am so thankful to be here. It's like a breath of fresh air. Literately because we aren't down-town it's fresher air! And there's a park like 5 min walking. AND two great joe fresh's within a 10 minute drive. I can't wait for nice weather!!!

Another note: H is sleeping in his crib, in his own room, which is another huge huge huge step in our lives. I have slept with him every day of his 11 month life, I miss him but it really is for the best. I sware he's grown just in the week we've been here! Starting at 7:30pm (because it's still light out) we have a bath, read 3 books in our bed, then he's in his crib and I go in to check on him if he's really upset. Here's a funny picture of our video monitor, he falls asleep sitting up, which I'm sure has some issues but I'm hoping he will eventually learn that it feels better to be flat on his back to sleep... He sometimes wakes up at night and sits up and then bonks his head on the side rails so I go in and lie him down again. Silly boy. 
This is him in the left bottom corner you can see his head, facing the wall, sitting up, fully asleep. 

Running: a love/hate relationship

I enjoy running. I feel good while I do it, I feel good after I do it... I feel good talking about it. BUT I also hate the pains associated with it, and actually getting out and going for a nice long one. So that's that. The end.
Just kidding!
Now that I'm all old and motherly, I've learned that running with a mom-body is a little different than it used to be. First off, I really have to make sure my boobs are locked and loaded and ready to roll... ahem, run. Then there's all the new and super jiggly bits that I'm getting used to (and hoping they disappear asap). I have found though that there are some serious plus-sides and not-so-fun-sides to running. I made this list up yesterday while running ALONE for the first time since H-babe was born (almost a year ago... YIKES!)

Love running:

• putting on your favourite lululemon running gear and KNOWING you look just so fabulous!
• you feel SO good when you first start and you don't feel out of breath at all
• your body just does it naturally and you get into a sweet rythm
• when you pass people and feel 100x more confident in your abilities
• when you run with a stroller, you just know people going opposite you are all like "WHOA look at that momma go!" and you've inspired them to go faster/further
• the sunshine on your face (an obvious one)
• when you set a goal spot in your head to stop for your first break and then you reach it and are able to go further
• when other people smile/nod/wave as you pass
• you make it WAY further than you thought you could 
• you add some hill training onto the end because its a beautiful day and nothing can stop you now!
• when you realize you've been running without music (then remind yourself to get some running tunes pronto)

not-so-much-love running:

• it's spring, so you know that smell of manure... it's actually melting dog shit that no one picked up... that is now getting all over your shoes and back of your legs along with all the dirt on the path too.
• when you get a cramp and can't fix it
• when you can feel your bum jiggle more than your boobs (which aren't jiggling because they're so well locked into spot)
• you forget to bring water because you're not with your well packed stroller
• when people older than you pass you (but they're super fit so don't feel too ashamed)
• you are forced to run though a yucky looking puddle
• birds are following you and getting WAY too close for comfort
• when you don't have a running buddy to chat with on your 1 minute walking breaks

On another note I am super sore and loving it.I wanted to add that I have completed a marathon, half-marathon, 5km, and 2 triathlons, but this summer will be my FIRST half-marathon with one super cute baby (and his daddy) cheering me on, and I seriously cannot wait! I hope he has good memories of when I run races and do triathlons, I know I have a lot of good memories of cheering my mom on. When I was old enough I also volunteered at races she was completing, and LOVED it. I hope H man follows in my footsteps!

 My 2010 Triathlons

My mom and I 2011 Ottawa Race Weekend Half marathon.

Baby steps!

Today, Monday March 25th you took your first steps alone. 
My boy, you are 10 months old and so strong and independent, I can't believe how fast you're growing right before my eyes! Your daddy has been walking with you for a few months now, and little bit by little bit you became stronger and faster and have been walking (with our help) for a long time now. It's funny how only a few months feels like a long time! Today your Gran held your one hand and you let go to walk to me. I have tears in my eyes just thinking of the happy (and a little in shock your self) look you had on your face! "Look am! No hands!" I know I'll hear it soon enough!

Please stop growing my sweet boy. I'm going to miss all these little things about you! (I can't wait to show your dada the new tricks you've learned!) 
We had a fun play date with your four girlfriends; Cora, Wanona, Sophia, and Sasha. You ate their food (so nice of them so share!) and chatted up a storm. You even went the whole day (8am-6:20pm) with no boob!!
Talk about leaps and bounds!
We will keep busy my boy, because I know you are a social baby just like your momma!
I love you with all my heart, I can't wait until tomorrow to see what new adventures we will share.
Xoxo times 46382146482724648276465837464738464719101927475 

Momma

Flying with H-babe and tips for traveling with yours

As most of you know, W and I took a little trip to Vegas the end of February and of course we brought along little Haidan babe. At the time he was 9.5months and starting to cut his two top teeth. Fun right? Actually, YES it was great fun!
I have some tips and things to keeps mind when you fly with a baby... As if I'm an expert... I'm not, but this is my experience!
We used W's aeroplan points to buy my ticket so the flight times were super weird. I was also going to fly alone. Neither are ideal but we booked a flight that was during when H would sleep. We left Ottawa at 1pm (he was asleep) and got into Newark during dinner, our ne t flight was at 6 and we got into Vegas at 9pm their time. H slept during both flights for at least an hour, and when we arrived in Vegas he was asleep and had so much fun flying that he stayed asleep all the way to the condo and through the night! Hurray! I didn't bring my suitcase (w brought it the next day on his flight for free) so in my carry on I needed to have the essentials.

In my backpack:
Tooth brush
Contacts case with juice in it already (and eye drops just incase)
Glasses in my makeup case
Tank and undies for me for the next day
One change of clothes for H
10 diapers and a half full pack of wipes
Change pad (diapers, wipes, change pad all fit into a little bag I had so it was easy to take to the planes potty)
One stuffie, Sophie, and teething rings to play with
iPad with entertaining games
Cell phone (on airplane mode so that I didn't get charged roaming)
Passports and letter from W saying I could travel with H alone... Yes I needed it
Wallet with $30 American
6 squeezer food things for H-babe (I ate one when I felt sick and hungry and he was sleeping)

Clearly the bare essentials. It worked and worked WELL! I was impressed by how easy the flight was. I couldn't tell you the tricks to keeping a baby happy because quite honestly, I have no idea how I did it. I offered the boob at any flinch of a fuss, which maybe helped? Haidan is a super social, happy most of the time, easy to please kinda baby anyways so I was very very lucky. The worst thing that happened was he had a poop blow out on our second flight. I waited too long to change him because there was a line up at the bathrooms... Lesson learned! 

One of the most important things I would encourage any traveling for the first time parent: keep calm and stay happy. I was smiling and calm and forced myself to just laugh and talk to people (because I was alone and needed conversation) and knew that it could be worse! I also was positive in my thinking "We are lucky enough to go on a trip, I am fortunate enough to have travel experience already, I am social anyways and not afraid to ask for help, I have a happy baby, I am a confident parent (I'm not, but I tell myself I am so that I will be haha ), I CAN do this!!,"

Time flies

It's so sad isn't it. But also exciting because as the time flies by, things are changing, growing, evolving into something great, and before you know it it's March! I seriously can't get over the fact that in two (really almost 1) I will have a one year old boy! It truly seems like just yesterday he was born. I taught him how to nurse. We coslept for the first time, and every day since. We brought him home to our tiny 715 sq ft condo. He played with bossy on the floor. 
 Now it seems like that was a million years ago. As if he's been in our lives forever! We know him, whathe wants and how he expresses himself. We know his funny faces, his mood swings, his giggles and his cries. Just Sunday he started to make strange with bossy (we've been without him for one or two months because he's a messy boy) and its so lovely to see them making friends again. We are out growing our little condo now as h-babe is wondering through and discovering where all the fun things are (ahem...dangerous things). 
I hope that as time keeps flying by, I continue to cherish every morning and every day that I get to spend alone with my boy. I know I complain about being lonely sometimes but I think about the day that I start my home daycare and other kids are in my care too (I can't wait, but it will also be sad). 

This little boy really truly makes life worth living. He reminds me with every curious step to devour life as every day is a gift and is worth exploring. His smile reminds me to stop worrying and live in the moment. His little koala clig reminds me to stop and hug the people I cherish in my life, because its important to feel loved. His cry reminds me that everything isn't always going to be easy, but that I'm doing a good job at keeping him happy. His determination to walk and squeeze between the tightest of places reminds me that everything worth fighting for is a challenge. 

I love this little boy, and the man that helped make him... Ok and raise him too! We are the perfect family and there's nothing I would change (ok, maybe I would add another girl...)! And we are pretty darn great if I do say so myself!

A step in the right direction

Ever feel like no matter what you do things just don't seem to work out? Or work out continuously? That's kinda me right now. Not saying that I will quit trying but it sure is bothersome! Maybe I need to look harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

My lovely babe goes through phases in his eating habits, and now that I think of it maybe I'm not listening enough to his ques, but it really is hard to keep track of when he wants to eat a lot vs when he's teething and doesn't want anything. My step in the right direction has been ordering "Squooshi" Squeezable packs but re-usable and freezer/dishwasher friendly! I'm saving $1.20-$1.60/pouch of ready made store bought food and now can mimic their blends and make it myself! While we were in Vegas H-babe loved them, and it's so portable!! I can't wait to get them in the mail! 

Check them out here

So this week (starting Monday aka yesterday) I decided that I want to start weaning him off the boob. By this I mean not feeding him every five seconds and instead offering either other food or a new activity. Yesterday it worked really well. I fed him at around 9am, went for a walk so he would fall asleep at 9:45, fed at 12:30/1:30 ish, slept again at 2:45 (late because we were at a play date), then fed at 7:30 then at bed time. HUGE improvement from every five seconds. I'm not lying, it seemed like every five minutes he wanted boob... Now he gets apple sauce, because that and Greek yogurt is all he will eat. I know, he should get more but I try! Today we both woke up sicker than yesterday, H-babe didn't wake until 8:30 so that set the schedule off a bit, but we are pretty well on track for the days of no boob! Hurrah! Re-direction is key to parenting! Plus it keeps things interesting! So anytime he starts to rip my shirt off I redirect him to food, play, or a walk!

This week is also "get off your ass and workout" week because I have be hugely slacking and though I haven't gained any weight (the scale is a lying whore that cannot be trusted) I do feel jiggle-ier than before. Add it to my list of things to do. This meant that on the super snowy day (Ottawa and area expecting approx. 1 million cm of snow) I walked uphill on the treadmill as fast as I could while carrying H-babe. He lasted about 25 minutes and I went for 40. Sweaty is an understatement. But it's done and over with. Next nap will include stairs, my old friend that has missed me so.

My goals for the rest of the week: workout every day (something, anything!), keep at the no boob in the days (stay strong and don't give up!), clean up toys during every "break". Next week will include cooking more aka at all!!