I can't believe I'm going to say this but, like that woman at my very first lactation drop in said, IT GETS BETTER!
Thank heavens because for some, those first few weeks can be pretty rough (anyone remember my breastfeeding post? uh yeaaah)! I can't believe that this little boy is already 5 months old. FIVE MONTHS, it's been since my life changed completely, since I was about 30lbs heavier, since I had any kind of freedom from this house, since my boobs were a normal size (for me anyways), since I slept 8+ hours straight, since I enjoyed my bed all to myself, since I've been able to be completely selfish, since I've read a book (ha!), since I met the love of a life time!
It seems cleche to say, but he really is the love of my life. I read a post of a good friend of mine that said "Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life" so beautiful! I know this might seem obvious, but I just was thinking the other day that for the rest of my LIFE I will have a son named Haidan. ISNT THAT AMAZING!!! I look into his dreamy eyes and think, "Wow boy, you and me have a long fun road a head of us" it's so fun to think about all the things he will learn and all the things I need to teach. (All of which I am scared shitless about screwing up, but I know it will be ok)
I look at new parents and think, wow, once I thought this was really hard. Every day it's gotten easier and more fun. Mind you some days I'm ready to stay in the shower until the screaming stops, but those days we fill with extra fun things (usually ends in ____colate). I really do enjoy life with Haidan, and can't imagine any other way, in fact sometimes I forget what it was like... being alone, showering alone, walking the dog alone, talking about worldly things with W.
I also wanted to give a little update while I can about my fitness/goals/body image issues. While W was on pretty much two weeks of work trips, I didn't force myself to figure out a way to keep my workouts going. Instead I focused on doing lots of fun things with Haidan that were outside of the house. That included little driving trips so that he would get used to the car in small doses (which so far has totally paid off! FINALLY), trips to the library, walks along the canal, walks to the glebe community center "Mom club", and making new mommy friends. I can say with SO MUCH confidence and joy, that I have never felt better. I was getting pretty tired of kicking my ass every day and not seeing quick amazing results... and unfortunately when I measured myself October 1st I hadn't lost ANY inches (first time since July that I haven't lost a single inch... gurr). So maybe this self image thing that I had going on in the summer months has faded because of the new amazing beautiful fall weather, or maybe because I finally am living guilt free? Who knows, but all that matters is that I feel great and maybe one day will get back to the gym. I left off at week 4 of the Jamie Eason Phase 1... I'd like to get back to that but we'll see what the future holds... tomorrow.
Anyways this is turning into a bit of a ramble sesh... I'm going to stop here and just say THANK GOODNESS it gets better. And "This too shall pass" so live in the moment friends because every moment counts!